My Life, My Heart, My Soul

Have you ever been swimming and realized that you are out WAY over your head and shore is suddenly REALLY far away? At that moment - all you can think of is how tired you are and that you might not make it back - and this is NOT the way you imagined going...

I feel like that in my life right now - new baby, too many businesses, volunteering at church, helping out friends with their kids, 4-H meetings every week... I could fill this entire page with all the stuff going on in my life and at my house. I was so thankful for the rain this week - even though it created a disaster around my barn - it gave me a repreave from the 12 children soon to be at my home tonight with all their horses - I love that part of my life so much - but some days it's just too much. Today was one of those days.

I sit here and am surrounded by a mess - couldn't find an important paper on my desk right now if I had to - good thing I don't have to at this moment. The laundry is so piled up that I have to step into it to get into the bathroom - this is what happens to my house with 4 kids and a husband when I go to help out at church - my house and life here takes the back seat and looks like the crazy pack rat lady lives here - and I hate it. I really do - but at the same time - I am so tired at the end of the day that I can't find the energy to get off the couch.

It feels like an attack from the enemy - simply because I am a mom and my home and housekeeping and parenting skills are the first place I feel like I am inept - He knows it and uses it against me.